Search terms

by Tom Ingram

I get few enough visitors that I see all the search terms people use to get to this site. Believe me, people are searching for a lot of weird things (recently, somebody got here by searching for “Tommy Wiseau’s ass”). By far, the two largest demographics are people with questions about X-Men Origins: Wolverine and students looking for answers to their Macbeth homework.

Today, however, I’ve seen the most interesting one yet: wiseau “ayn rand”. That’s right, someone was searching for Tommy Wiseau and Ayn Rand at the same time. Are they planning to make a movie adaptation of Atlas Shrugged starring Wiseau as Johnny Galt?

Because that would be awesome. A few excerpts:

“Oh hi, Hank.”

“You’re TEARING ME APART, Dagny!”

“In the name of the best within you, do not sacrifice this world to those who are its worst. In the name of the values that keep you alive, do not let your vision of man be distorted by the ugly, the cowardly, the mindless in those who have never achieved his title. Do not lose your knowledge that man’s proper estate is an upright posture, an intransigent mind and a step that travels unlimited roads. Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it’s yours. Anyway, how is your sex life?”